Let's play Scramble With Friends. My username is 'TacoSen'. bit.ly/tPcsrH #GamesWithFriends

???won od I od kcuf eht tahW

.efil ym fo xes tseb eht saw ti tub ,edur eb dluow taht ecnis ,sliated eromyna otni gniog ton m'I .seye sih ni erif htiw em ta dekool neht depsag eH .kcab sih dekar slian ym elihw ,gniltserw seugnot ruo ,dessik eW .ti llac ot tnaw uoy revetahw ro noissap ro tsul pu tnep emos dah I sseug I .nehctik eht ni ffo trihs sih deppir dna ecalp sih ot kcab mih koot I neht sknird erom wef a dah dna rab lacol sih ot tnew neht sknird fo elpuoc a dah dna tae ot tuo tnew eW .stifeneb htiw dneirf tseb yag ym mih sekam sseug I hcihw ,dneirf tseb yag ym htiw xes dah I

!!!lleps a gnitsac ekil ,od ot gniht annataZ a hcus si sihT

So, when I can't sleep, I lurk on bigmusclebear.com. I'm not a member there, so don't ask to see my profile because I'm not muscle and hopefully not big enough to be on there but I sure do like the eye candy. Anyways, was there a "Take your picture shirtless in a public bathroom" meme that I missed? It sure seems to be popular enough!

You can't fix everything. Some things are just better off broken...

I finally caught up on my Survivor episodes on the DVR. I admit. I'm not a big fan of the show but I only watched it when they announced this sexy daddy bear would be on it. It was pretty much love at first lust but he just got booted out on episode #4 so no more nice shots of him walking around in his underwear.

BUMMER!!!

But at least now I clear up some space on my DVR.

Some my think it odd since I'm only 38 but, considering the odds of me living past 50 is pretty slim, I'm post-due for this crisis, I guess. I took swim classes. I've always could swim, growing up on an island, you have to know how to swim but I've never been a strong swimmer. I'm more of a body surfer but I took classes to change this. First of all, it's so much harder in a pool. I'm used to the salt holding me up but the pool water just sinks even my fat ass. It's so much more work but I can feel the growth in my shoulders and back and my pants have actually grown loser so I decided to stick with it after the swim classes end. There's free swim in the mornings from 5am to 8am, which works great because I work third shift (That's hospital talk for 3p to midnight) and it's great to wake up early, swim some laps, then come back and work on some chores and homework before going to work. For some odd reason, the pool is much busier on weekday mornings than weekend mornings. And, the locker room is totally different on weekday mornings too. On weekends, it's all quick change artists. On weekdays, they hang around naked talking about stuff. It's not a gay thing but a very old-school masculine thing. Like today, the talk was about how The Dodgers are being put up on a auction block. I love baseball. Some of my best papers are about connecting society and baseball and my professors say I have a really good knack at that. They even bring up the p-word, getting published. I would love that! That would make for a killer grad school application and would help me land a good school job while getting my grad school degree. The would be a fucking dream come true. But the point of my whole babble is that I miss this kind of masculinity. Since coming out of the closet and being in a long term relationship, most of my friends have shifted from straight guys to gay guys. Like I still have a couple of straight friends but most of my friends are now gay and I miss talking about baseball. I know. I know. There are other gay guys out there who love baseball but I can't find them in my state. Instead of going to baseball games, I go to IKEA now. Instead of talking about baseball, I talk about Project: Runway. Instead of going to bar to drink tap beer, I drink martinis. I know this is my fault. I allowed my self to change because I wanted people to see my true self but somehow, along the way, my true self got changed to something else and I'm not sure I like it too much. Maybe, I'm just getting old. I remember when I would fight to the death but now I just compromise. My greatest fear is to die in a hospital bed but I feel this reality coming closer and closer every day. I have to change things before it gets too late.

I wrote his in one solid block to invoke Saint Kerouac.

I hope he wins!!! I have a thing for daddy bears and he's one hell of a sexy one...

...is there anyone left on livejournal???